An “Unaffliated’s” Response to CrossFit Criticism

Response to this article: http://gawker.com/5928989/

Firstly, I have to say that most of the pros and cons of this article ring true to me.  CrossFit is like any other fitness fad – by way of word of mouth, mainstream cultural attention (a la the CrossFit games on ESPN) and the heavily marketed sea of equipment offerings, it has slowly entered into buzzword territory, along with P90x, Insanity, Zumba, Yoga, Pilates and any other nonsense you can think of.  Let’s just be clear – whatever criticism may exist about any of the aforementioned categories of exercise, the important thing to know is that we aren’t debating the merits of new fast food chain fads – this isn’t a discussion about whether Arby’s disgusting liquefied-meat-product turned pseudo-solid when provided with griddle heat Roast Beef sandwich is any better than the Bible-thumping Chick-fil-a idiots’ Chicken Sandwich.  What we are talking about here is exercise – in any way, shape, or form, it is a good thing, despite any previous posts I may have written to suggest otherwise.[1]

Now on to a response about CrossFit.

I do not suffer many of the slings and arrows that Mr. Nolan has put forth, mainly because I train privately in my coach’s garage, with my trusty workout buddy Hozz.  There is no group exercise and there is no bullshit peer pressure aside from what I am able to apply to Hozz (a guy I have known for 7 years) and vice versa.  This does nothing to counter his argument about cost – I have no response.  It’s expensive as hell, but it’s my hobby and I can think of a lot of other hobbies that are not nearly as good for me, and are a hell of a lot more expensive.

Secondly, we have a coach who cares about us.  Personal records are important, but not at the cost of form and technique.  Any coach (who doesn’t care solely about producing impressive metrics on a white board) will preserve the safety and health of his students’ as paramount.  As the author suggests, the most benefit gained is through measured loads and proper form.  Sidenote: if anyone watched Rich Froning boom-roast everyone again at this year’s CrossFit games, you will begin to understand why form is so important.  His form is outstanding – he is able to accomplish far more work with far less output than anyone else in the field, simply because he works out efficiently and properly with perfect technique.  In the long run, it always pays to perfect your technique.

Third, the assertion that it does not transfer to other sports/activities is total nonsense.  Not to toot my own horn here, but never have I hit more homeruns in softball or hit a golf ball further in my life.  It’s not a coincidence.  Not to mention that I ran the Warrior Dash recently and totally smoked it.  CrossFit may not help you “specialize” in any one particular sport, but it will make you an overall better athlete.  Any person who possesses a modest level of skill in any sport can rest assured that their performance will improve after three months of CrossFit training.

Fourth, those socks are terrible.  I would never wear those.  They demonstrate the herd mentality of any activity (like collecting Pokemon cards or Pogs, or wearing Starter jackets) that demands that human beings must fall in line with what they perceive to be acceptable behavior amongst a crowd they want to be a part of.  I’m sure there is some moronic argument about how those socks increase circulation or some shit like that.  Save your money and spend it on some ice – put it in your bathtub and jump in.  You will have all the circulation you need, while looking like a shriveled, shivering asshole in the privacy of your own home, rather than like a giant douche out in public.  I like to tell people that I do CrossFit, because in many years of working out, it has honestly produced the best results out of anything I have attempted.  But it does upset me that stupid Yuppy fads start up, that people become fanatical, and that it begins to look unapproachable or undesirable for mainstream folks.  For people looking to get serious about working out and get into incredible shape, look no further.  Just don’t start wearing those fucking socks.